So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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