Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
A+ Viking dick
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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