all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
