I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
