just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
