I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
