This gyro tastes like lonliness
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
