are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
