Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
