I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
