this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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