if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Mom said you looked used
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
