Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
