tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
