I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
