Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
