The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
