If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
