Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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