Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
