but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
