If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
