Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
