im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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