he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
