Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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