He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
