so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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