she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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