overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
