But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
