I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
