OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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