I wish life had little blips of pornography
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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