Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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