I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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