So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
