you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
