i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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