I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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