So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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