I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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