happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
