please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
