My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
