Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
