Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
