This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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