So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
