You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
