I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
