i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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