Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
