I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Can I color on your dick again?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
