im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
