i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
